Men's Second Style

While Law was busy handing out favors and bribes for votes these past two weeks, I’ve been busy with yet another throwdown. This time I’m up against Oscar Page, a relative new guy on the block when it comes to blogging but who has been fashionable in SL for ages (2004, that is).

Express Zenovka — Pussy Liquor

Nothing relieves a bit of work induced stress like a visit from your favorite hooker. But when you’re one of those guys who climbed his way to the top, who now controls everyone in the company as if they were little bitty ants in a maze of cubicles, how do you let off steam? By begging to Mistress Morgana through that gag in your mouth, pleading for her to tie your arms and legs behind you tighter, of course. Unfortunately though, Ryan was a bit scared of Mistress Morgana so you’ll have to settle for our businessman’s visits to Vivianne’s House of Harlotry, on the corner of 3rd and Queens.

He’s a regular, so his suit jacket and shirt are off before he even makes it to his usual room on the second floor. Velvet and Candy, his two favorite girls, help him get the other unimportant clothes. Bottle in hand and alarm set on his watch, her prepares himself for a night of self-inflicted torture as he follows the all-important house rule: “The girls can touch but you cannot”.

A few hours later, girls gone, alcohol drained, hair mussed, and cig burning low, he wonders why he does this to himself every weekend, tempting himself with the ladies for hours on end. He has to admit, growing up as a dorky nerd he never though he’d be naked in a room covered with kisses from two women. Maybe next week he should call the Morgana lady that Vivianne had told him about a few weeks ago…

In all seriousness, this was an attempt to let less clothing say more. Most guys can attest to the fact that wandering the house in only a pair of boxers is liberating feeling, and pretty comfortable to boot. Getting kisses from the check down isn’t so bad either .I’m not anyone would want to be barefoot in a brothel though, so it was prolly a smart idea to keep his shoes on. The tie, well, lets just say ties are good tying things. When they come in white, its even easier to tint it any color you want. And of course the watch — businessmen need their fancy watches and Chronokit’s various watches are all extremely flexible in both appearance and time settings. Oh, and vote for me cuz Oscar kills puppies in his spare time.

Oscar Page — That Guy

This is a journey into how a normal, regular man becomes “that guy”. Everybody knows “that guy”. “That guy” always shows up at weddings, but the most embarrassing, because more people know him, are the after-work functions. So let’s watch the transformation here….

The work day ends and it’s time for the release ritual from the 9 to 5. The tie gets loosened, the buttons unbuttoned (especially the tiny button that sometimes annoys the crap out of you because it won’t go into its hole), and the sleeves slide up. You slide into the comfort of your own vehicle where a zen-like silence falls on your ears. Your eyes close in honor of the silence and you try to melt away as much of the day as you can. Your eyes open to the memory of a co-worker’s after-work birthday party.

Yes, it’s happy hour at the Queen’s Head and it’s time to drink away the rest of the day that the zen moment wouldn’t. Trodding into the pub, you head directly for the bar and get yourself a Newcastle Brown Ale (Go Magpies!…okay maybe only when Alan Shearer and Andy Cole were in their prime)

Easy there alky. Before that frosty mug hits your lips and you delve into the night, we will chronicle these moments in the form of alcoholic beverages consumed.

Beer 1-6

You’re in a pretty safe zone here, as long as you keep your hands to yourself. If you stay in this zone you are safe from being talked about at the water cooler the next day and rehydration from the hangover should be relatively easy. The tie and glasses are still on, but as the night fades to 6 the speech starts to slur a bit. You’re feeling wonderful and giddy at this point. Life is beautiful.

Beer 7-9 + 2 martinis

Here is the danger zone. Here is where you’re susceptible to being talked into karaoke. I don’t care how many, you’ve had…you know what your voice sounds sober. Do you really want to make a fool of yourself by trying to do this? Yes, yes you do. So what songs do you think you can handle at this point? No, not Brad Paisley’s “Alcohol”. You think you’ll try to woo the ladies with a smooth, Rat Pack voice, so you go for Dean Martin – You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You . “The world still is the same *blows tie away from mouth* you never change it.” What you don’t realize is that this isn’t very smooth when your tie has gone from loose and cool around your neck to wrapped around your head Rambo style.

Beer 10-pass out

You did the responsible thing. You decided NOT to drive home. The problem is that you should have done the smart thing and taken the ride you were offered instead of walking home on your own in that state of inebriation. The warm, burning garbage can feels nice and this seems like a great spot to stop for a quick nap. Sadly the hobo who was keeping himself warm on that garbage can came back, only to strip you to your skivvies. Yes, they may be called business socks, but this is definitely not business time. Just wait for the stories tomorrow because you are officially “that guy”.

A few final things to say about this outfit would be #1 Classic French blue color on the shirt that looks great on just about any man in the office #2 The price & quality of the shoes & watch. The way women determine a lot about the character and the pocketbook of a man comes down to their shoes and watch. Even if you don’t really have the pocketbook, there are plenty of options to make it look like you do. #3 Vote for me and I’ll set you free! Rap on brotha…rap on.

Voting Time

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The Throwdown series is partially sponsored by Hathor Models. Men’s Second Style greatly appreciates their support!